Naruto Drabbles Parody
by Evelyn627
Summary: [Complete] This was a project for school. It was suppose to be funny, but really isn't opps... . The first is about the Uchiha Massacre, second Naruto's friend's trying to get him to stop saying "Believe it", third Naruto and Sasuke going crazy... etc. R&R please
1. Title

Table of Contents

Chapter

Disclaimer… …1

Characters… …1

The Great Uchiha Massacre… …2

Believe It… …3

Demon… …4

Naruto Takes a Stand… …5

The Mutant Cake… …6

Disclaimer:

I do not own Naruto, or anything associated with it. I do not make any money by writing this.

**Characters:**

Little Sasuke

Young Itachi

Mikoto

Fugaku

Villager 1

Villager 2

Ninja 1

ANBU 2

Kisame

Pein

Deidara

Naruto

Sakura

Iruka

Orochimaru

Kabuto

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Okay, so this was part of a big project I had to do to get my MYP certificate. I wrote a series of scripts that I _was_ going to make a movie out of with my friends (that part never happened). You may notice that the last one "Mutant Cake" is my story "Happy Birthday! Kabuto!" with some stuff cut off.

Hope you enjoy =)


	2. The Great Uchiha Massacre

The 'Great' Uchiha Massacre

**Part 1:**

Little Sasuke:

Young Itachi:

Mikoto:

Fugaku:

**Part 2: **

Villager 1:

Villager 2:

Ninja 1:

ANBU 2:

Sasuke:

**Part 3:**

Kisame:

Pein:

Young Itachi:

* * *

Part 1:

**Sasuke: **Can you train me today? Ppppllleeaassseeee

**Itachi: **No. I'm busy. Maybe another time.

**Sasuke: **With what?

**Itachi: **_(Picks up kunai and starts cleaning it)_ Planning the clan's demise.

**Sasuke: **_(yelling) _Why do you never have time for me?

**Itachi: **You're annoying and I'm busy. Go away Sasuke. _(Glares at __**Sasuke**__)_

**Sasuke: **No.

_(__**Itachi**__ flicks __**Sasukes **__forehead. Sasuke pouts.)_

**Sasuke: **FINE! Then I'm gonna go tell momma what you said!

_(__**Sasuke**__ runs inside, slamming the door behind him.)_

_~Camera zooms in on door and fades out~_

_(__**Sasuke and Mikoto **__are in the kitchen.)_

**Sasuke: **MOMMY! Itachi said he was gonna kill everyone in the clan!

**Mikoto: **_(turns to __**Sasuke **__and says in a scolding tone) _Don't say things like that Sasuke! Its not nice.

**Sasuke: **_(Gapes)_ But he told me!

**Mikoto: **_(Sighs) _Go outside and play Sasuke, I just can't look at you anymore. _(__**Mikoto **__turns back to the stove) _And stop spreading lies about Itachi. It's not nice and only bad little boys do it.

~cut~

_(Two day pass without issue. __**Sasuke**__ is still suspicious of __**Itachi, **__but doesn't voice his thoughts until news comes about their cousin.)_

**Fugaku: **_(Walks into the room with wide, shocked eyes.) _Shishu is dead.

**Sasuke**: _(Jumps up and faces his mother.) _I told you so! Itachi did it!

**Fugaku and Mikoto: **Don't say things like that!

**Mikoto: **I already told you Sasuke! Don't tell lies about your brother!

**Sasuke: **_(He glares at his parents then stalks out the door muttering so they can't hear him.) _You'll see that I'm right. Just wait.

~Camera follows Sasuke out as the scene fades~

_(__**Sasuke **__comes home from school the following evening and notices that the streets of the Uchiha compound are unusually quiet. He runs in and notices that nothing is happening which is very unusal. He runs into the compound and towards its center. There __**Sasuke **__sees everyone dead. There is no blood and there are no wounds, but for some reason they are dead and he can't figure out how or why.)_

**Sasuke: **_(Backs away slowly as he stares in shock) _I-itachi really killed them. He killed everyone!

**Itachi:** _(Appears behind Sasuke.) _Yes, I did little brother. And it was all for you.

**Sasuke:** _(Spins around.) _YOU! _(starts to cry) _You're a liar Itachi! A LIAR!

**Itachi: **_(Smirks and turns away) _Believe what you will Sasuke, but one day you'll see the truth. And when you do, I'll be waiting for you.

**Sasuke: **_(Kneels on the floor with tears pouring down his face, not watching as __**Itachi **__leaves.) _I told you so. I told you Itachi was gonna kill you.

~The scene fads out as Sasuke makes a declaration to kill Itachi.~

* * *

Part 2

_(__**Itachi **__is running through the forest when he realizes that hes being followed. Without second thought the ex-leaf ninja turns and attacks his stalker. He quickly ties him up, not giving the other ninja a change to respond. He notices that his attacker is a fish-like man and quickly comes up with a plan to make him crack.)_

**Itachi: **Who are you?

**Kisame: **_(looks at __**Itachi **__with frightened yellow eyes) _K-kisame.

**Itachi: **Why were you following me? What did you see?

**Kisame: **_(refuses to respond)_

**Itachi: **_(Smirks) _So we have a little fishy who likes to swim in the ocean. Maybenext time you should stick to the pond. _(__**Itachi**__ hold a fish in the air) _After all, some of us like to eat fish for dinner. _(Bites off the fish's head.)_

**Kisame: **_(Gulps and stares at Itachi with wide eyes.) _Okay! Okay! I admit it! I saw you make your clan laugh to death! I didn't mean to! I was just on my way to get some sushi!

~Camera zooms in on smirking Itachi and cuts off abruptly~

_(A few days pass in Konoha and soon everyone has heard about the Uchiha Massacre and what really took place, however there were still rumors going around as people debated the story.)_

**Villager 1: **That's him! That's Uchiha Sasuke! The last Uchiha!

**Villager 2: **I know! Poor thing. It's ashame that Itachi went crazy and killed them all.

**Ninja 1: **Yeah, but did you hear _how_ they died?

**ANBU 2:** Itachi called a clan meeting and started telling them funny stories.

**Villager 2: **_(Shocked) _Uchiha's can laugh?

**Villager 1: **_(laughs) _I passed out when I heard.

~Fades out~

* * *

Part 3

**Pein: **You killed them through _laughter?_

**Itachi: **Yes

**Deidara: **The world is ending! Uchiha's LAUGHED! _(__**Deidara **__is ignored)_

**Itachi: **I have a question.

**Pein: **Yes.

**Itachi: **How does a shadow talk?

~scene goes blank~


	3. Believe It

Believe It!

**Naruto: **I'm gonna go on a date with Sakura-chan! Believe it!

_(__**Naruto **__opens the door to his house and sees everyone inside.)_

**Naruto: **W-what's going on?

**Sasuke: **_(Steps forward) _We've had enough Naruto.

**Sakura: **Yeah! I mean you've gotten _more_ annoying then usual!

**Naruto: **_(confused) _What?

**Iruka: **_(steps forward)_ You see Naruto, we're sick of you saying "believe it" all the time.

**Kakashi: **and if you don't stop… _(Looks up from book)_

**Sasuke:** …We'll resort to drastic measures.

_(__**Itachi **__appears and wraps his arm around __**Naruto's **__shoulder.)_

**Itachi: **Like turning you over to me.

_(__**Naruto's **__eyes widen. He ducks under __**Itachi's **__arms and runs away screaming. Everyone else watches him for a moment before they start laughing.)_


	4. Demon

Demon!

_(__**Naruto, Sasuke, **__and __**Sakura**__ are on a bridge waiting for Kakashi to come. __**Sakura**__ is glaring at Naruto because of what her mother told her the night before. Finally, when __**Naruto **__grins and her and asks how shes doing, __**Sakura**__ goes off on him.)_

**Sakura: **You're a DEMON! DEMON! YOUR'RE GONNA KILL US ALL! _(__**Sakura**__ runs around in circles for a few moments, then stops and glares at __**Naruto**__. She takes out a bottle of "Holy Water" and pours it on __**Naruto.**__) _ There! You are cleansed!

_(__**Sasuke **__is trying not to laugh while __**Naruto **__is glaring at __**Sakura**__ with water dripping down his face.)_

**Naruto: **I've told you a million times! I'M NOT A DEMON YOU WITCH!

_**(Sasuke **__suddenly becomes rigid. A crazed grin spreads across his face.)_

**Sasuke: **YES! SHE'S A WITCH! BURN HER! BURN HER!!!

(**Naruto **_picks up a pitchfork and __**Sasuke**__ grabs a torch. They begin circling a frightened __**Sakura**__. __**Kakashi **__appears and takes this all including an empty bottle on the floor that says "Holy Water".)_

**Kakashi: ** Well. I can see that all of you are excited for training today. _**(Kakashi **__gives them an evil look.) _After all, fighting without your sensei present is against the rules.

_(__**Sakura **__passes out as __**Naruto and Sasuke**__ turn towards __**Kakashi. **__The boys start laughing hysterically. __**Kakashi **__gives them a worried look and backs off slowly.)_

~camera goes blank suddenly and then screams are heard~


	5. Naruto Takes a Stand

**Naruto Takes a Stand**

Sakura: Kakashi:

Ino: Sasuke:

Naruto:

_Sakura and Ino are sitting at a park having lunch when they notice Naruto and Sasuke. Both girls run up to them, eyes set on Sasuke._

**Sakura:** Hi Sasuke-kun! _(Pushes Ino out of the way)_

_**Sasuke's **__eyes widen slightly._

**Ino: **_(loudly)_Sasuke-kun! Hi!

_**Ino and Sakura**__ look down and blush._

_**Naruto **__turns and looks at them._

**Naruto: **Sakura-chan! _(hugs __**Sakura**__)_

**Sakura:** _(screams) _GET OFF OF ME NARUTO!!! _(__**Sakura **__hits __**Naruto**_**'s **_head. __**Naruto **__pouts and holds his head. He looks up at Sakura with tears in his eyes.)_

**Sasuke: **What the heck? Are you insane Sakura?!? Kakashi is- _(scared)_

**Kakashi: **What do you think you're doing? _(angry)_

_(All four turn and look at Kakashi. Sasuke shifts nervously from foot to foot. Sakura stands there frozen. Ino looks shocked. Naruto shakes from his position on the floor, still clutching his head.)_

**Sakura: **Umm… well… you see…

**Kakashi: **I don't want to hear it. You three always make a scene and are always causing trouble. _(eye narrows) _We're going. _Now._

**Ino: ** W-what about me?

**Kakashi:** You can do whatever you want, but these three need to learn to work together.

_(__**Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto **__follow __**Kakashi's **__looking scared. __**Kakashi **__leads them into a forest near the park.)_

_----_

_(__**Kakashi**__ stops in the middle of a clearing and __**Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura**__ look around worriedly.)_

**Kakashi: **Until you three can work out your differences, you're going to stay in there. Got it?

_**(Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto **__stare at him through window. __**Kakashi**__ smiles and disappears.)_

**Sakura: **This is all _your _fault Naruto! **(**_**Sasuke and Naruto **__wince.) _If you hadn't been annoying Sasuke-kun then-

**Naruto: **MY FAULT!? YOU hit ME! And I wasn't annoying your _precious Sasuke-kun!!! So SHUT UP! _You're always yelling at me and telling me how annoying and useless I am. BUT GUESS WHAT SAKURA! You're the one who's annoying and useless!!!! And Pathetic! AND I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU PUSH ME AROUND ANYMORE!!!

How many times have I told you that I CARED FOR YOU!? HUH!? But still, you just PUSH ME ASIDE for Sasuke, who doesn't GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOU! AND YOU'RE too blind to see that HE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU AT ALL!!! SO STOP CALLING ME USELESS AND ANNOYING, WHEN YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS USELESS AND ANNOYING!! YOU ARE THE PATHETIC ONE! **NOT ME!**

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU, YOU **HYPOCRITICAL, PINK-HEADED BANSHEE!**

(_**Naruto **__is panting by the end of his rant and __**Sakura**__ is as far away from him as possible with wide, fearful eyes.) _

**Sakura: **At least I'm not a _demon!_

_(__**Kakashi **__appears and yanks __**Sakura**__ out of the way while __**Sasuke **__restrains __**Naruto**__.)_

**Naruto: **LET ME GO SASUKE! I'M GONNA KILL HER!!!!!!!!!

**-**-- CUT---


	6. The Mutant Cake

The Mutant Cake

**Kabuto: **

**Orochimaru: **

**Sasuke:**

(**Kabuto **is standing working on an experiment when a loud noise runs through the base. **Kabuto **jumps and hurries out of the lab, only to see **Sasuke and Orochimaru **run out of a near-by room covered in icing.)

**Orochimaru: **RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! _(He runs pass __**Kabuto **__with __**Sasuke **__following close behind.)_

_(__**Kabuto **__looks at the room and sees something oozing out of it. He runs after them.)_

(**Orochimaru, Sasuke, and Kabuto **are panting for breath and sitting on the ground.)

Orochimaru, Sasuke, and Kabuto were sitting 7 miles from the base, collasped on the ground, and panting for breath.

**Kabuto: **What the hell happened?

**Sasuke: **Well… you see…

**Orochimaru: **We were making a cake

**Sasuke:** _(Glares at __**Orochimaru)**_We were making a cake for your birthday.

**Orochimaru: **_(sheepish) _Except… we didn't know how…

**Sasuke: ** …So we looked it up online…

**Orochimaru: **… but Sasuke typed in the wrong thing…

**Sasuke: **_(Glares at __**Orochimaru**__) _And it ended up being a bomb cake…

**Orochimaru: **_(glares back at __**Sasuke) **_Then it came to life after it exploded…

**Sasuke: **So we ran…

**Kabuto: **_(staring at __**Orochimaru and Sasuke) **_What kind of mix were you using?

**Sasuke: **_(rolls eyes) _Instant cake mix.

**Kabuto: **By any chance, did you happen to check the box?

_(__**Orochimaru and Sasuke **__look at each other sheepishly)_

_**Orochimaru and Sasuke: **_Erm… no…

_(__**Kabuto **__hits his head against the tree he's leaning on as an explosion sounds in the distance. All three of them look over to see a huge mushroom cloud where the base once was.)_

**Orochimaru: **_(Jumps up.) _Not again! That was the 150th base THIS MONTH!


End file.
